i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize