you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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