Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
