We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
