she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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