I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
