Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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