ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
