I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
