i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
