Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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