Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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