apparently the secret to your success is patron
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
