Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
