remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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