i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize