so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
