Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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