So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize