How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
