I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
