At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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