Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
