I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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