cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
