i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He passed out mid-signature
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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