I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
