Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
