Its about making memories worth repressing
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
