You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
