We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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