He disabled his match.com account in front of me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize