i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we're making bets on your personal life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
