This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
