Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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