I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
