I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
