why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
