Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
