dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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