are you still at the devil's house?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
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