she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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