You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
