That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
