let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
