Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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