Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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