Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
