WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
