marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
