i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize