we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
