I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize