Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
how drunk are you?
Several
Couch. On fire.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
