So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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