do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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