i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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