im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
