I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize