i think my mom watched the whole time
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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