READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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