I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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