is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
