last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
