i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
