Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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