Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
