Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
