did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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