u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
