I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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