apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Randomize
